Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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