:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
My pussy is not your playground.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
