I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize
