You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
