And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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