he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
