she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Randomize
