I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
