the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
True college students do jello shots in the library
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize