Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
So here I am, sexting at work.
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