so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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