Swine flu. Run for my life!
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I look better un-naked...
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
