im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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