I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
