But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize