But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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