So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
My vagina is very pro this idea
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
