i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
