Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
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