Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
