She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
