Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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