He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
