okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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