So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
