the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Randomize
