honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
