if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize