so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
