If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
