We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
