you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
