we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
