Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
