Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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