I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
did i walk over a car last night?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Randomize
