since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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