Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
