Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
