I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
