where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Randomize
