We got so high we made milksteak
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
