Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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