How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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