The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
