does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just gift wrapped bread.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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