just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
we should paint friendship bongs
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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