the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
