if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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