Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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