saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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