I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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