i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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