Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Never joke about your clitoris.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
