i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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