Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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