Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
