last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
