Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
